This discussion is sponsored by Melt but all opinions and thoughts are my own!
When we got married, it was important to us to make it a point to serve each other somehow during our wedding ceremony. We decided a great way for us to do that was to have our first “act of marriage” be washing each other’s feet, just like Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Ever since choosing to have that be a part of our wedding, serving each other has been a big thing for us. We try to acknowledge serving each other in little ways, like making the other lunch or cleaning up after the other person at dinner. It might be serving the other by putting their laundry away or washing their car. There are lots of acts that you can do to serve your spouse. There are three main categories of ways I think it’s important to remember when you think of how to serve your spouse. These are the ways that are necessary and help build up a strong marriage.
Serving your spouse emotionally is one of the best things you can do for keeping your marriage in good health. When one spouse feels emotionally neglected, it can quickly tear down any foundation that has been built up. Catering to your spouses emotional needs can look like a variety of things, but it starts with keeping your spouse’s emotions in mind to begin with. It’s easy to act or say certain things without thinking of anyone else first, it takes time to train yourself to think of your spouse’s possible reaction or feelings after something you might do. But thinking of those things first can help to avoid emotional hurt. Serving your spouses emotions can also mean taking time to listen and/or ask how your spouse feels about something. If you ever sense that your spouse is getting frustrated about something (even if it’s just something happening in the world), try to ask them to explain why they are so upset by it. It can be a huge insight into their emotions and feelings.
To best serve your spouse spiritually, it’s necessary to be on the same page spiritually. If you and your spouse have completely opposite beliefs, it’ll be difficult to try to serve them spiritually or cater to their needs spiritually. A few important ways to serve your spouse spiritually is by praying for them often, praying with them often and engaging in faith based activities together. It’s important to have your own relationship with God outside of your marriage, but it is also important for you to have a core of faith within your marriage. This can be found by reading the Word or other faith based books together, praying together, and sharing how you feel God working in your life with your spouse.
Serving your spouse physically is one of the most important ways that you can serve one another. Your mind may immediately go to simply serving your spouse through your sexual life together, but there are tons of other ways to serve each other physically. Especially if your spouse’s love language is physical touch, learning how to effectively serve each other by physical touch is extremely important. One of the greatest ways to express physical servanthood is by learning or practicing massage techniques. I was lucky because Steven was raised by a mom who taught him to give feet and back massages. I tend to think of massages as being something that men are better at, but I think the reason for that is because I’ve never felt confident in giving massages. My hands are super tiny (as in I’ve only met a handful of people with smaller hands than me) so giving a back massage gets to be extremely tiring for me. Without confidence to give Steven a back massage or foot massage, I’m not usually one to offer. Of course, if he asks I always try my best to give him an effective back massage.
I was so excited when MELT: Massages for Couples reached out about reviewing their online course about massage techniques specifically designed for couples. I was really curious to see what these videos would be like and to see if learning basic massage techniques would help with my confidence and desire to offer back massages more frequently! These videos are not what you’d expect when you may hear “massage video.” They are totally PG and professional, without any nudity or awkwardness. The videos are hosted by Denis, a professional massage therapist of 15 years and his wife Emma. He does a fantastic job explaining basic massage techniques that can be built upon and help to gain confidence as you’re serving your spouse with a back or neck massage!
If you’ve had reservations about giving your spouse the occasional massage, learning massage techniques from the Melt Video Series is a great way to build your confidence and connect with your spouse. Melt Video Series is on Sale until June 21st, you can get 20% off the bundled courses – only $79. This special promo is for Wetherills Say I Do readers. Visit Melt to get this special promotion! This makes a great at home date night that you both can benefit from! Remember the sale ends June 21st.
Watching through these videos will give you more confidence and for me it has even increased my desire to initiate asking Steven if he’d like a massage, rather than always being asked to give one. The best part is you can watch these videos together and both learn the techniques to benefit each other. It’s the perfect time to escape the craziness of the rest of the world and enjoy an hour or so together as you learn these techniques together.
Learning to prioritize servanthood in your marriage is so important. By focusing on these three areas you can cover a lot of ground in making sure your spouse is well served.